Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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