i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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