how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
