its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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