Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
