awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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