whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
