how can u be prego again
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
