he puts the penis in happiness.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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