Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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