Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
