you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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