I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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