im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Too much gin, very little bucket
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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