i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
How does one acquire holy water?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
