But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
