I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
A+ Viking dick
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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