So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
When are your genitals available?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
