Just fell off a train. Bad.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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