I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
