I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Please don't give away my fajitas
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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