I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Dicks are not precious.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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