yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
