i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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