all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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