Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
