I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
