break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
