there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
