I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
