she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
