I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
