so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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