Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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