She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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