omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
