barbara walters just said penis...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
