just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
