Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
