I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize