oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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