The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Apparently you make a good broom.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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