You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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