my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
