I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
