i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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