the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
