Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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