It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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