so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
