your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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