Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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