I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
