I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
