drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
