but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
