now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
