ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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