guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
