singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
