That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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