question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
