I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
