my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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