In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Randomize
