So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I think i got beer on your cat.
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